We went to Will's 8 week check up on Monday. He is 10 lbs, 4 ozs (40th percentile), 23.5 inches long (80th percentile). His head is 15 inches in circumference (25th percentile) He had a good check up and everything was perfect, except for one small thing. He has a hole in his heart. Hopefully a tiny hole that will close up on its own. The doctor said he could hear it swooshing blood in and out when he listened to his heart. This was not something I was prepared for. Yesterday was an awful day. I just held him all day and tried not to think about what I would do if he was sick, really sick. Then I worried myself sick. Bo sent me the verse- Philippians 4:6- 6Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus- Which I thought- Whoever said this was obviously not a mom. I mean how can a MOM not be anxious about something wrong with her child. Then I thought about Psalm 139:13- For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. And thought, Well Jesus, you left out a couple of stitches when you were knitting my boy.
Will had also gotten 4 shots and felt pretty miserable when he woke up from his nap. He just cried and cried and was so pitiful. Of course when he cried I was so worried that it was causing his heart to work too much and was worried if I couldn't calm him down he was going to have a heart attack. (completely unreasonable!!) Our preacher's wife came over that afternoon and brought us dinner. We talked and she prayed over us and about his tiny heart. She prayed that Satan would not take control of my thoughts and I realized that is exactly what had happened all day.
I saw something last night on facebook that said something about Satan forces you to see the one small bad thing and ignore all the wonderful other things God has done for us. So true. Will's story is just beginning and this is a part of his story. I love the author of his story and have to trust that he knows the ending and that Will's story has a purpose. I pray that we will honor God during this time and I hope that I will have more grace than I did on Monday. I am so imperfect and so thankful that God loves me anyway. We are scheduled to see a cardiologist in a couple of weeks. Please pray for God to heal my baby's tiny heart.